Monday, February 7, 2011

How to get Your Ex back

Resolved Question: ex-boyfriend help....?

Question

Isabel asks: (1 year ago)
I really miss my ex and want him back, our relationship ended badly and now I've made it worse by how I've reacted.

I've been looking on those "how to get your ex back" sites (I know they can be stupid, like the ones that are trying to sell you a book and telling you stories about 'Beth' who 'got her ex back in 2 weeks', but some of them have really good points) and they've said to go along with the breakup, to not be desperate or clingy, don't call or text lots, etc... and I've done all the things they said not to.



First I begged with him not to end it... was clingy and tried to hold on to him... cried to him, etc. And I called him lots, and when he wouldn't answer I'd get stubborn and keep calling, I sent loads of texts, I overwhelmed him, he even says now that the worst thing I did was persisting. And I've argued with him a LOT over hurt feelings and things... and he can have really bad anger problems so he would hate me for making them worse.

Once (and this was really bad) I went for a walk, we live really near each other (honestly I had had a drink and wasn't making my best decisions), its about a 40minute walk to his house, and I have to walk past his house area to get to the park/forests, I wanted to go for a long walk (even though it was getting dark) and my only options were either to walk in the opposite direction and head towards the main road, just walk around my area and not actually go anywhere, or head for the park. I went for the park and when I was near his house I texted him saying "Im near your house its so weird dont worry not to see you Im going to the park" and he called me saying I had to come to his house because it was getting dark and he wanted to talk to me to sort things out..which was a BAD conversation... and all those reasons why I was near his house (even though they are logical) wouldnt matter to him because all he knows is that I walked and got to his house... I didnt even bother trying to explain. But yeah... he says he wants to still be friends with me, but sometimes we are on really bad terms.. and I feel like I may have even entered 'physco ex-girlfriend' territory...



I've stopped contacting him (with a couple of bad exceptions) and we've talked and I've told him that I feel stupid for how I've acted over the past 3 months and I don't want him to remember me like that cos I wasn't myself... I still see him a lot because we go to college together... I've also told him that I don't want to be with him any more, hoping to undo some of the damage done initially...



But my question is, how do I fix the damage I've done? When he met me I was strong and confident and he liked that about me, I was also ME, rather then the persistent phone calls, texts, and bad feelings that he must see now instead of me. I just want things back to how they were.

Answers

 

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